January 5, 2017

If you’re a greyhound owner out walking your dogs, you know the drill. Walk for a while, settle in to the zone, then stop to answer questions from someone. Repeat, repeat and repeat. Oh, I’m not complaining! Who doesn’t like to talk about their dogs? Who doesn’t like all the compliments that come our way? But honestly, sometimes, I feel I should have a pamphlet printed out to just hand to people. It would go something like this:

  • Yes, they are soft, aren’t they?
  • No, they’re not hyper. It’s too much effort to get off my best sofa.
  • No, they’re not very good watchdogs. It’s too much effort to get off my bed.
  • Yes, the fancy collars and coats are necessary. And yes, of course they need to match. But their pajamas are different. And I don’t worry about them matching. Although I do have trouble matching prints to my red and white male’s coloring. And he doesn’t seem to like the turtleneck sweater I got for him.
  • Oh, just kibble. Well, maybe some chicken or beef occasionally . . .
  • 45 miles an hour if you can get them off the couch or the bed . . .
  • No, they’re not underweight. They just don’t have any body fat (unlike me).
  • No, really, he’s fine! Oh, that death scream was because he thought that tiny speck of sand had hurt his foot. He’ll put his foot back down any . . . minute . . . now . . .
  • Their ears are back because that’s the way they grow. . . and you really don’t want me to expound on mother nature, survival, aerodynamics, etc., because I can, you know.
  • No, I haven’t won any money racing my dogs. Again, see all above references to couch and bed.
  • No, I don’t breed my dogs and sell the pups. They’re neutered.
  • No, they’re not whippets.
  • No, they’re not great danes.
  • Actually, any dog will chase a squirrel. The difference is, if a greyhound chases a squirrel or rabbit, life, as that animals knows it, is going to be very short.
  • Yes, I am jealous of my greyhound’s waist, butt and long legs. And thanks for pointing that out.
  • Yes, they do look like high fashion models.
  • No, I don’t have to take them on copious walks because they want to run all the time. Seriously, would you like to see the 585 pics I have of them sleeping?
  • No, I don’t run with my greyhounds. I don’t go 45 miles an hour.
  • Yes, I run with them . . . while they walk . . .
  • No, most of them are not grey like the one on the bus.
  • Um, no . . . they don’t sit. Well, it’s not that I don’t know how to train them, they just don’t sit. Well, it’s because . . . you see . . . they have this long body with a hinged back that . . . You’re right, I just need to train them!
  • No, they’re not nervous and they’re not freezing. They just chatter sometimes.
  • No, they don’t shed. This is the same fur she was born with. Right!
  • Smell? What smell? Oh! The gas? Occasionally . . .
  • No, his tail isn’t broken. It’s just really long and he gets tired of holding it up.
  • No, he’s not dead. That’s called a greyhound roach . . . he’s actually asleep and comfortable.
  • No, they don’t require a lot of exercise. Just from the food bowl to the couch is fine.

beacoatAnybody want to add to the list? I’d love to hear it!

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